She numbs the pain by talking to the ocean and the waves, looking at photographs and understanding the messages they carry. She has created a character who carries pain in her life and wonders what she did to deserve this, finding the clues and answers on her own, as her mental health is carried away by them. Helena Fox has created a powerful portrayal of mental illness and how it affects daily life even when that individual is not aware of it. But even then, reading this allowed me to think differently, and accept that everything will be okay, even if I don't believe it and even if no one else believes it. I feel like I have found a new favorite, but it is the type that can't be read again, as the anguish and pain experienced is not something I want to experience again. Reading this book made me feel like I was being pinned to a wall to witness the events the main character was feeling, seeing her struggle and not getting the answers she needed, as if reading about them was not enough. This is the type of book that gives you a tangible feeling of pain, making you feel empty like there's no more space left for you to process the emotions you are currently feeling. You can pull it out, hold it in your hand.
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